5 Things I Learned Hugging Complete Strangers

Global Free Hugs was started by Juan Mann, whose mission was to brighten people’s lives, or at the very least, their day. I watched his social experiment video a few years ago, and became totally inspired, although I never thought I’d see the day where I would be the one willingly standing out in a public square, soliciting free hugs to complete strangers… but alas, the day has come and (sadly) gone. Here are five things I learned in the process:

1. Foreigners dig hugs. Americans? Not so much.

So, in the process of facilitating this social experiment, we noticed that foreigners were way more apt to receive a free hug over Americans. Is this why I think Europe is so dreamy? Look, I know we (Americans) value our imagined little bubbles, but come on. . . . We were giving away HUGS . . . . for free! On the flip side, we did get a lot of thumbs up for the cause, and some smiles from people who were trying really hard not to smile. For me, that’s enough. So I’ll take it.

2. Our concept of “free” has been completely lost in our commercialized society.

At least half the people we hugged (and some who didn’t want hugs) asked what the catch was: “No really, how many donations are you soliciting?” When we explained that we weren’t taking donations, or that we didn’t represent a company etc. they seemed puzzled and asked, “Then why are you doing this?” More often than not I answered with: “Because everyone needs a hug.” And, in fact, it’s true! Studies have shown that a person who gives and/or receives about 12 hugs per day will lead a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled life. So what are you waiting for? Start hugging!

3. Receiving is awesome, but giving is more awesome.

I’m not gonna lie, I love receiving gifts. It’s actually one of my love languages. However, the joy I got from knowing I’ve directly helped to improve someone else’s life or day is on a totally different (higher) level than the joy I get from knowing someone was thinking about little ol’ me. To give is to receive. You cannot give without receiving joy in return. It’s all-encompassing and I highly encourage this practice! I hugged one guy and he said, “Thank you. I really needed that.” It literally made my entire weekend!

4. Contrary to popular belief, Karma is not a bitch (at least not always).

We gave free hugs away in Santa Monica on 3rd street promenade, and had to park in a nearby structure, which of course, is not free. We did our two hours of free hugs (which went by really, really fast) and when we went to leave and pay for our parking, the ticket spit back out with $0.00 on it. I’m not sure if this was a coincidence, but I’d like to think it was Karma working her ways in our favor. So if that was you, thank you. Free parking in L.A. is like winning the lottery. 

5. The best way to deal with rejection is to subject yourself to it!

I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely terrified of rejection. So much so, that I will intentionally avoid certain situations in anticipation of this very scary element of life. What I loved about Free Hugs is that it forces you to step outside of your comfort zone and face that rejection head on. I feel way less intimidated by rejection than I’ve ever felt!

CrossFit Anywhere: No Excuses

 

{All photos courtesy of CrossFit.com}

I’m constantly inspired by people who refuse to let physical or geographical obstacles keep them from doing what they truly love. Rain, shine, snow, desert, war, home, missing leg … it doesn’t matter. When you want something bad enough, you will always, always find a way. What’s your excuse?

An Open Letter To My Younger Self

 

Dear Rebecca,

Stop trying to grow up so fast. I know your childhood isn’t ideal, but no matter what, it’s your childhood. Don’t give that time away, because you can never have it back.  Go outside and play more often. Stop trying to impress adults all the time – not all of them are as perfect as you think they are. Demonstrate some courage when another kid pushes you around; they’re not nearly as powerful as you give them credit for. That courage will become the very foundation you build the rest of your life on, and trust me when I say, you won’t trade it for the world.

When you find yourself in circumstances that confuse you, and you will, it’s okay. In fact, it’s all apart of the bigger point. Remember your brain is still developing right now, and you’re not fully capable of understanding all of the answers to your questions, but don’t let that discourage you from asking them anyway. Those questions are single-handedly going to shape and mold who you’re going to become someday. So, ask more! You have plenty of time to connect the dots.

Try to realize that everyone is doing their best from their own point of consciousness. The sooner you truly believe this, the sooner you will have compassion for others. That compassion is going to make the glass appear half-full at times. Of course initially the idea will feel foreign, and at times delusional, but keep at it. The first time you indulge in that perspective will also be the first time you feel happiness in a capacity beyond your comprehension. Enjoy it, and remember it in the greatest of detail - it’s going to give you hope when life seems meaningless.

You are so strong. Would you believe me if I told you that someday you’re going to literally lift the weight equal to three of you? It seems impossible now, but it’s the absolute truth. There’s a fire burning inside of you, and it’s important to not let anyone put it out, or convince you otherwise. In the meantime however, don’t get so down on yourself for your emotional reactions. Crying does not mean you’re weak. It’s a necessary part of your growth. Just learn to listen to yourself, and more importantly, others.

Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is a sign you’re trying, and you’ll learn more about life (and yourself) from your failures, than from your successes. And during the times you are successful, don’t dumb yourself down for anyone. Be humble about it, but be proud. There’s no shame in patting yourself on the back once in a while, because at the end of the day, the only person’s approval that matters is your own.

Sincerely & With Love,
Rebecca The Red

***

If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would it say?

Quote of the Week

{Image from The Berry}

 

With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose. – Dr. Wayne Dyer

 

This Is The Part Where I Give Up

{Image from unknown source}

Everything was going so well. It seemed like overnight I was impassioned with visions; visions of success, confidence, of humility, triumph, and kicking every fear I’ve ever had right square in the face. I was filled with a feeling of knowing that everything I ever wanted or needed, I would have. I didn’t know how, I just knew it would be so.

So, I started writing it all down. I started making plans. I had glimpses of the path I would need to take, the people I would want to meet and connect with, the articles I would write, and the PR’s I would get in CrossFit along the way. The ideas were flowing in such abundance, that I often felt like I just needed to go outside and scream at the top of my lungs; releasing the pressure of all the bursting joy and appreciation, which can sometimes be just as overwhelming as its opposite.

And then there was a hiccup – actually, there were a few. Because that’s just how this thing works. If there’s anything in life you can count on (besides the obvious . . . yourself), it’s contrast. The higher you go, the harder your potential fall will be. This is the stuff movies are made of. The rise, the fall, and finally . . . how the hero or heroine manages to pick up all of the broken pieces and put them back together again. The rebuild is where our characters are forged. It’s not how we go down that matters, but rather how we get back up which verily defines us as individuals.

Well, getting back up has never been my strong suit. In fact, I’m like the Bueller of faking the entire process, so here’s my confession:

This is the part where I (usually) give up – where I make excuses, and bow out of my commitments. It’s where I hit the auto-pilot switch, relinquishing complete control, and let the ego man the ship. This is the time when everything I’ve said and promised comes to a head as just a lie I’ve told myself, an illusion or some fantasy I was living in. It’s when I cry, when I break things (namely my own self-esteem), and when I blame everyone or everything outside of myself for why I can’t follow-through.

Rinse. Repeat. Recycle.

No longer – this time is different. There’s a fighter in me now, and she’s relentless in defeating this bullshit legacy I’ve clung to for so long. Maybe it’s because I’m all hopped up on CrossFit and I’m not thinking very clearly, or maybe I’m thinking clearer than ever. Maybe I’ve finally reached a point where being my own worst enemy just isn’t working for me anymore.

So, this is the part where I give up . . . my excuses. This is the part where I give up self-doubt, and the limitations I’ve placed on myself. This is the part where I give up the victim act I play out when plans get derailed or bumpy, and surely they will. This is the part where I own my goals, my dreams, my visions and I take 100% responsibility for me, and only me. This is when fear becomes merely a familiar face I acknowledge, but continue walking past in peace.

This is the part where I give in.