5 Things I Learned Hugging Complete Strangers

Global Free Hugs was started by Juan Mann, whose mission was to brighten people’s lives, or at the very least, their day. I watched his social experiment video a few years ago, and became totally inspired, although I never thought I’d see the day where I would be the one willingly standing out in a public square, soliciting free hugs to complete strangers… but alas, the day has come and (sadly) gone. Here are five things I learned in the process:

1. Foreigners dig hugs. Americans? Not so much.

So, in the process of facilitating this social experiment, we noticed that foreigners were way more apt to receive a free hug over Americans. Is this why I think Europe is so dreamy? Look, I know we (Americans) value our imagined little bubbles, but come on. . . . We were giving away HUGS . . . . for free! On the flip side, we did get a lot of thumbs up for the cause, and some smiles from people who were trying really hard not to smile. For me, that’s enough. So I’ll take it.

2. Our concept of “free” has been completely lost in our commercialized society.

At least half the people we hugged (and some who didn’t want hugs) asked what the catch was: “No really, how many donations are you soliciting?” When we explained that we weren’t taking donations, or that we didn’t represent a company etc. they seemed puzzled and asked, “Then why are you doing this?” More often than not I answered with: “Because everyone needs a hug.” And, in fact, it’s true! Studies have shown that a person who gives and/or receives about 12 hugs per day will lead a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled life. So what are you waiting for? Start hugging!

3. Receiving is awesome, but giving is more awesome.

I’m not gonna lie, I love receiving gifts. It’s actually one of my love languages. However, the joy I got from knowing I’ve directly helped to improve someone else’s life or day is on a totally different (higher) level than the joy I get from knowing someone was thinking about little ol’ me. To give is to receive. You cannot give without receiving joy in return. It’s all-encompassing and I highly encourage this practice! I hugged one guy and he said, “Thank you. I really needed that.” It literally made my entire weekend!

4. Contrary to popular belief, Karma is not a bitch (at least not always).

We gave free hugs away in Santa Monica on 3rd street promenade, and had to park in a nearby structure, which of course, is not free. We did our two hours of free hugs (which went by really, really fast) and when we went to leave and pay for our parking, the ticket spit back out with $0.00 on it. I’m not sure if this was a coincidence, but I’d like to think it was Karma working her ways in our favor. So if that was you, thank you. Free parking in L.A. is like winning the lottery. 

5. The best way to deal with rejection is to subject yourself to it!

I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely terrified of rejection. So much so, that I will intentionally avoid certain situations in anticipation of this very scary element of life. What I loved about Free Hugs is that it forces you to step outside of your comfort zone and face that rejection head on. I feel way less intimidated by rejection than I’ve ever felt!

An Open Letter To My Younger Self

 

Dear Rebecca,

Stop trying to grow up so fast. I know your childhood isn’t ideal, but no matter what, it’s your childhood. Don’t give that time away, because you can never have it back.  Go outside and play more often. Stop trying to impress adults all the time – not all of them are as perfect as you think they are. Demonstrate some courage when another kid pushes you around; they’re not nearly as powerful as you give them credit for. That courage will become the very foundation you build the rest of your life on, and trust me when I say, you won’t trade it for the world.

When you find yourself in circumstances that confuse you, and you will, it’s okay. In fact, it’s all apart of the bigger point. Remember your brain is still developing right now, and you’re not fully capable of understanding all of the answers to your questions, but don’t let that discourage you from asking them anyway. Those questions are single-handedly going to shape and mold who you’re going to become someday. So, ask more! You have plenty of time to connect the dots.

Try to realize that everyone is doing their best from their own point of consciousness. The sooner you truly believe this, the sooner you will have compassion for others. That compassion is going to make the glass appear half-full at times. Of course initially the idea will feel foreign, and at times delusional, but keep at it. The first time you indulge in that perspective will also be the first time you feel happiness in a capacity beyond your comprehension. Enjoy it, and remember it in the greatest of detail - it’s going to give you hope when life seems meaningless.

You are so strong. Would you believe me if I told you that someday you’re going to literally lift the weight equal to three of you? It seems impossible now, but it’s the absolute truth. There’s a fire burning inside of you, and it’s important to not let anyone put it out, or convince you otherwise. In the meantime however, don’t get so down on yourself for your emotional reactions. Crying does not mean you’re weak. It’s a necessary part of your growth. Just learn to listen to yourself, and more importantly, others.

Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is a sign you’re trying, and you’ll learn more about life (and yourself) from your failures, than from your successes. And during the times you are successful, don’t dumb yourself down for anyone. Be humble about it, but be proud. There’s no shame in patting yourself on the back once in a while, because at the end of the day, the only person’s approval that matters is your own.

Sincerely & With Love,
Rebecca The Red

***

If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would it say?

A Little Pick-Me-Up

{Print from KokoStudios Etsy Shop}

I never got around to writing about my hand injury. Sorry about that! The truth is I’m going through some major personal stuff, and I just don’t have it in me right now to write everything I want to say. I really wish I could, because I know it would make me feel better. But for now, I’m going to skim by with these cute little inspirational posters to let you know I’m still here, albiet a little tired & slightly lost. Anyway, cheers to the weekend! xo

-Rebecca The Red

There Are Things You Just Can’t Do

Because there has been and always will be a balance: of light and dark, of positive and negative, of big and small, of highs and lows, of triumph and failure, and so on……. Each has their purpose. Without cannots, cans would cease to exist.

The problem however is not about what we can’t do, it’s about what we can do, but think we cannot.

We’ve been under a spell of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing, fear of anything-we-can-think-of-fearing. This fear clouds our vision, our minds, and our hearts. It prevents us from seeing the truth: the truth about the world, and the truth about ourselves. The truth is we can do so much more than we thought was possible. Of all the millions of things we cannot do, there are equally a million things we can. So the mission is this: We need to change our focus - shift our consciousness from the can’t to the can. When we do this, we’ll watch in amazement as our lives change right before our eyes.

Let’s Run Away

{image from lelove}

I finally understand and appreciate responsibility, obligation, honouring comittments and most of all, taking accountability for ones own life. I think there’s a lot to be learned about yourself (and the world) through taking that path. But the nomad in me is still very much alive and not at all patient. She wants adventure. She wants exploration. She wants to breathe new life. She wants a different view….. Sometimes, she just wants to run away from it all.