An Open Letter To My Younger Self

 

Dear Rebecca,

Stop trying to grow up so fast. I know your childhood isn’t ideal, but no matter what, it’s your childhood. Don’t give that time away, because you can never have it back.  Go outside and play more often. Stop trying to impress adults all the time – not all of them are as perfect as you think they are. Demonstrate some courage when another kid pushes you around; they’re not nearly as powerful as you give them credit for. That courage will become the very foundation you build the rest of your life on, and trust me when I say, you won’t trade it for the world.

When you find yourself in circumstances that confuse you, and you will, it’s okay. In fact, it’s all apart of the bigger point. Remember your brain is still developing right now, and you’re not fully capable of understanding all of the answers to your questions, but don’t let that discourage you from asking them anyway. Those questions are single-handedly going to shape and mold who you’re going to become someday. So, ask more! You have plenty of time to connect the dots.

Try to realize that everyone is doing their best from their own point of consciousness. The sooner you truly believe this, the sooner you will have compassion for others. That compassion is going to make the glass appear half-full at times. Of course initially the idea will feel foreign, and at times delusional, but keep at it. The first time you indulge in that perspective will also be the first time you feel happiness in a capacity beyond your comprehension. Enjoy it, and remember it in the greatest of detail - it’s going to give you hope when life seems meaningless.

You are so strong. Would you believe me if I told you that someday you’re going to literally lift the weight equal to three of you? It seems impossible now, but it’s the absolute truth. There’s a fire burning inside of you, and it’s important to not let anyone put it out, or convince you otherwise. In the meantime however, don’t get so down on yourself for your emotional reactions. Crying does not mean you’re weak. It’s a necessary part of your growth. Just learn to listen to yourself, and more importantly, others.

Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is a sign you’re trying, and you’ll learn more about life (and yourself) from your failures, than from your successes. And during the times you are successful, don’t dumb yourself down for anyone. Be humble about it, but be proud. There’s no shame in patting yourself on the back once in a while, because at the end of the day, the only person’s approval that matters is your own.

Sincerely & With Love,
Rebecca The Red

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If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would it say?

This Is The Part Where I Give Up

{Image from unknown source}

Everything was going so well. It seemed like overnight I was impassioned with visions; visions of success, confidence, of humility, triumph, and kicking every fear I’ve ever had right square in the face. I was filled with a feeling of knowing that everything I ever wanted or needed, I would have. I didn’t know how, I just knew it would be so.

So, I started writing it all down. I started making plans. I had glimpses of the path I would need to take, the people I would want to meet and connect with, the articles I would write, and the PR’s I would get in CrossFit along the way. The ideas were flowing in such abundance, that I often felt like I just needed to go outside and scream at the top of my lungs; releasing the pressure of all the bursting joy and appreciation, which can sometimes be just as overwhelming as its opposite.

And then there was a hiccup – actually, there were a few. Because that’s just how this thing works. If there’s anything in life you can count on (besides the obvious . . . yourself), it’s contrast. The higher you go, the harder your potential fall will be. This is the stuff movies are made of. The rise, the fall, and finally . . . how the hero or heroine manages to pick up all of the broken pieces and put them back together again. The rebuild is where our characters are forged. It’s not how we go down that matters, but rather how we get back up which verily defines us as individuals.

Well, getting back up has never been my strong suit. In fact, I’m like the Bueller of faking the entire process, so here’s my confession:

This is the part where I (usually) give up – where I make excuses, and bow out of my commitments. It’s where I hit the auto-pilot switch, relinquishing complete control, and let the ego man the ship. This is the time when everything I’ve said and promised comes to a head as just a lie I’ve told myself, an illusion or some fantasy I was living in. It’s when I cry, when I break things (namely my own self-esteem), and when I blame everyone or everything outside of myself for why I can’t follow-through.

Rinse. Repeat. Recycle.

No longer – this time is different. There’s a fighter in me now, and she’s relentless in defeating this bullshit legacy I’ve clung to for so long. Maybe it’s because I’m all hopped up on CrossFit and I’m not thinking very clearly, or maybe I’m thinking clearer than ever. Maybe I’ve finally reached a point where being my own worst enemy just isn’t working for me anymore.

So, this is the part where I give up . . . my excuses. This is the part where I give up self-doubt, and the limitations I’ve placed on myself. This is the part where I give up the victim act I play out when plans get derailed or bumpy, and surely they will. This is the part where I own my goals, my dreams, my visions and I take 100% responsibility for me, and only me. This is when fear becomes merely a familiar face I acknowledge, but continue walking past in peace.

This is the part where I give in.